sad news...but always Hope in the Gospel

Last night I heard some very sad and sobering news (this is post is long, but stay with me) about my Grandpa Rogers (my Mom's dad). I have to say that it didn't come in the timing I thought and in the way I expected, perhaps it never does. Truthfully, I haven't thought of my Grandpa in a good while. That's sad to say, but true. He lived in Long Beach, Oregon all my life...and I hardly knew him.

Now saying all that, this grieves me now when I tell you that he passed away the morning of April 30th. Here's what my Dad and Mom wrote in an email that we all received the other night (and to be honest, I learned more about him through this brief summary of his life...for those who know me well--I have a fascination with Canada, and He's Canadian...I had no idea) :

"On April 30, Manis "Rog" Rogers - your grandfather, passed away. Your grandfather was born November 20, 1916 in Canada. As you are aware he lived a very tough life on a farm and left home after his Mother remarried. He made his way to Iowa and became a baker, later joining the Army during WWII. He spent time in the European theater and at the conclusion of the war came back to Oregon, where he met your grandmother Estella Rogers. Pam was born in 1950 and lived in Beaverton, Oregon where she attended elementary and High school. Rog and Estella had one son (Eddy who lived a hard life... after school working in the commercial fishery industry in Washington). Pam's father left Estella and his family for a life to be lived out along the Washington coast. He became a charter boat Captain, later worked as a commercial fisherman on his own boat. When being a commercial fisherman became to tough physically, as he advanced in years, he received training in auto mechanics and opened his own shop in Long Beach, WA. After selling his mechanics shop he spent part of his time as a gold prospector traveling the West coast panning, and hydro-sluicing, with very modest results. He enjoyed the out of doors and this provided him time to travel and be engaged in the excitement of discovery. His small plot of land in Long Beach, where we all visited, was a special spot for him and in later years became his central pleasure and pass-time. We enjoyed annual visits with him during this later part of his life. In '06, he told us just prior to arriving in Long beach, that he did not want us to visit him because he felt too embarrassed about his loss of a considerable amount of mobility. When we visited him in the Fall of '07 we did not tell him that we were going to visit him... we just showed up and ended up having a good visit.

The executor of his will, Jan Ross and her husband who lives in the Long Beach area, have been wonderful friends for over 40 years. Pam and I spent time with Jan during each visit, and communicated fairly regularly with her about Dad's needs and condition. Justin, Eddy's son, called us a week or so before we left on this current trip letting us know that Dad had again experienced a turn for the worst. Upon medical testing they had discovered growths on his lung and ribs - likely cancerous - though he was not strong enough at that time to have them biopsied. We thought this might have been completed if he had regained his strength (which was uncertain). As we communicated with you, the doctors felt he had six months or so to live, and after discussion with both Jan and Justin we made plans to visit him in Long Beach next month (June). Another complication was that Grandpa Rog had a stroke which hindered his ability to speak - no one was certain if this would be permanent or temporary.

The first morning, after arriving in China, we received an email from Justin letting us know that Grandpa Rogers had passed-on (April 30, 2008). Grandpa Roger had expressed to both of us his earnest desire to not suffer long when it was his time to "go" - he got his wish. Jan and Justin had visited him everyday during his very brief hospital and nursing home stay. It was his explicit wishes that there be no funeral or memorial service for him. He had voiced this to us several times and had even left these instructions in his will. We had discussed his wishes with him about leaving his property in Long Beach to Jan and her husband for their long and faithful care and friendship (40 years) - he once told us, "you guys don't need this little plot of land in Washington". Throughout our married life we prayed for your Grandpa Roger's salvation. Over the last years, we visited him annually and numerous times attempted to share with him about the redemption that could be his in our Lord. To our knowledge, we are unaware of him receiving the Lord Jesus as his savior. Over the last day we have taken time to grieve and pray... his passing no doubt will take time to process, but we have peace that our righteous and loving Lord, who knows each man's heart and their eternal destiny, will show his wisdom throughout his entire creation. We now trust Grandpa Rogers into our Eternal God's hands! Pam and I have been comforted by the words of a verse from an old song and wish to share them with you....

Swift to its close ebbs out life's little day;
Earth's joys grow dim, its glories pass away;
Change and decay in all around I see;
O Thou who changest not, abide with me.

By His mercy we remain with you in His abiding presence! Be comforted in the fact that your Grandpa Rogers did not suffer, lived a long life and had a wonderful daughter, your Mom - Pam. Please pray for her over the next days; we'll be praying for you as well! We look forward to seeing you when we return - we will attempt to call you in the next few days as conditions permit. Attached are two photos which we thought you'd like to have from our last visit with your Grandfather.
All our love,
Dad & Mom"

Wasn't he cute?

Here's a sweet-tender Gospel-centered song:
I Have a Shelter
"I have a shelter in the storm
When troubles pour upon me
Though fears are rising like a flood
My soul can rest securely
O Jesus, I will hide in You
My place of peace and solace
No trial is deeper than Your love
That comforts all my sorrows

I have a shelter in the storm
When all my sins accuse me
Though justice charges me with guilt
Your grace will not refuse me
O Jesus, I will hide in You
Who bore my condemnation
I find my refuge in Your wounds
For there I find salvation

I have a shelter in the storm
When constant winds would break me
For in my weakness, I have learned
Your strength will not forsake me
O Jesus, I will hide in You
The One who bears my burdens
With faithful hands that cannot fail
You’ll bring me home to heaven"

Today, I do feel better. I am reminded of our Father's goodness. That we can really look at God's character and find complete rest. Even though we do not know where Grandpa Roger is today, we do know we have a gracious God who loves sinners. It's a mystery of what actually happened on his death bed. What he was thinking about and if the Lord led him to repentance and faith in Christ. Yet, I don't have to know. And, I guess I'm actually okay with that.

I was pretty low yesterday and more so last night. I was glad that my parents called from China to check on me and see how I was feeling. They know me well, and that I verbally process my thoughts out loud. They were a good listeners to me as I was processing my thoughts. Thank you Mom and Dad for your care for me! And for my sister, April. She was so gracious to me last night as well. She let me cry and explain all the thoughts that were clouding my mind (both rational and irrational) . I love to see the Lord's care and how His care always comes in the right way. Looking at God and His character brings rest. Being reminded of the beauty of the Gospel and that I have a Redeemer, brings deep rest.

The most challenging thing my sisters and I discussed is that we never really had any form of relationship with him. I feel challenged that I never tried to pursue anything with him. We did live on opposite sides of the country...but still. I have this precious gift of the Gospel and I regret not going and sharing it with him, personally. My sisterfriend, Jenn reminded me the other day that people believing the Gospel in not dependent on me. Yes, we are called to go and share, but then to leave it in God's wisdom and hands in leading them to repentance and faith in Christ. The power rest in God alone. Not little Anna! Thank goodness! Thanks Jenn for reminding me of this truth! The Lord is providential and "knew this day long before he made me out of dirt." And so...today I can have rest and have confidence that God is good in all of this and COMPLETELY Sovereign.

The Lord has reminded me how often I don't live life in the right perspective. Death always reminds us that this life is not our home...James 4:13-15 says it best:

"Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes."

I pray that we would live in such a way--radical obedience and boldness of sharing the goodness of Christ, until He takes us Home! May He give us the sweet grace to do so, for His great Glory!