The UPDATE:
The Lord is gracious and kind in all His dealings with His children! It for sure has been a season of seeing more of my need for our Lord ( I think that's every season)! I never knew how hard motherhood was going to be! Don't get me wrong, I totally am enjoying this new season because I know it's directly from the Lord. However, had no idea how much it would once again be so sanctifying and humbling! I am seeing more of my need for our gracious Father as I seek to care for my husband and our baby! This year has been so crazy with so many life changes! I want to be more faithful in in what the Lord has given me!
Therefore, I must again go back to the Gospel of Christ! In all the life's changes, there is a constant...and that constant is Christ, my Savior. Oh, so thankful that I don't have to walk this road alone. He has given us His Holy Spirit, I don't have to be afraid or even need to fear! Jesus directly commands us many times not to be afraid because He is with us always, even to the end of the age! My sin struggle with fear must be stopped with trust in the Lord. He knows exactly what is necessary to make me more like His Son...and that I know that is far better then anything else. Paul says it best.
"But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. 8 Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— 10 that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead." -Phil.3:7-10
Perhaps, this has been vague, ask me and I can share more personally what the Lord is teaching me!
All this being said, we know that we are in our Sovereign God's hands and not one day has happened that He hasn't planned before the foundation of the world! Like an old Caedmon's Call song, "He knew this day long before He made me out of dirt..." This brings so much comfort...my soul can be
still in Christ alone!
Read this hymn below...totally encouraging to your heart! It looks long, but really read it! ;)
"Be Still, My Soul"
by Catharina von Schlegel, 1697-?
"Be still, my soul; the Lord is on thy side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul; thy best, thy heavenly, Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
Be still, my soul; thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence, let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul; the waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.
Be still, my soul, though dearest friends depart
And all is darkened in the vale of tears;
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrows and thy fears.
Be still, my soul; thy Jesus can repay
From His own fullness all He takes away.
Be still, my soul; the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul; when change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last."